I came across a Self-Forgiveness letter written by I coach I know. It is beautifully written and became a springboard for some rich thoughts. Here is the letter:
I write this letter with the intention of releasing the heavy emotions on my heart and in my body.
I forgive you for showing up late, not because of traffic, but because you didn’t allow yourself the space you needed to leave on time.
I forgive you for not sticking to your morning routine, for not exercising, for not flossing like you said you would.
I forgive you for choosing the easy way and not dealing with what felt uncomfortable until it became a much bigger divide and conflict than it needed to be.
I forgive you for all the times…. you didn’t say anything, whether out of fear or comfort or both.
I forgive you for not listening to your body and for not feeding her the nourishment you knew she needed but was too tired to make a better choice. I forgive you for all the unaccepting and painful stories you said to yourself about your body. I forgive you for not seeing and honoring your own sacred beauty. I forgive you for associating how you look with what you are worth.
I forgive you for giving into temptations, choices, and paths that weren’t in your highest integrity because you wanted attention, and to be chosen and validated in a way that you didn’t think you could give yourself.
I forgive you for not prioritizing relationships, for pushing others away, for not responding, following up or reaching out.
I forgive you for sharing what wasn’t yours to share, for judging others harshly without the grace and empathy they deserved. I forgive you for taking your unprocessed emotions out on your family/friends.
I forgive you for staying up too late watching Netflix, or looking at the screen of your phone when you knew that what you needed was to unplug, relax, and sleep.
I forgive you for taking on too much responsibility for others and trying to control outcomes and situations. I forgive you for believing someone else’s words and promises over trusting your own inner voice.
I forgive you for letting it go on way too long before you ended it.
I forgive you for not knowing, doing, or choosing better.
I forgive you for telling a story that was more balm to your ego than to your soul truth.
I forgive you. I forgive you and ask that all self-punishment, guilt, and shame end. Holding onto it doesn’t serve the highest version of me that I choose to be.
And so it is.
I forgive you, knowing that because of my mistakes, I am a stronger, braver, wiser guardian of my life.
And I remind you that you deserve forgiveness, you are still loved and lovable. You are sacred, significant, and divine.
(Regina Garrepy, Life Coach https://regenagarrepy.com)
Without Self Forgiveness, we cannot let Love in, we cannot fully experience Joy, we have less of ourselves available for our dreams and passions –
in other words ~
Without Self Forgiveness we can only experience a small part of our potential Happiness!
I work with clients who are stuck in Perfectionism, or those who have been abused and don’t believe they are worthy of love, or those who have failed and don’t know how to pick themselves up.
There are many reasons/motivations for not forgiving, but none of them are valid! And, the price we pay for not forgiving is huge!
So… How do we begin to Forgive Ourselves?
Many years ago, a Reiki Master friend said: “People are always doing the best they can – in that moment.” And that includes us! It doesn’t mean that we are doing our best, ever, all the time, it means that in that moment, when we are tired, stressed, distracted, discouraged or…. That was the best we could do – in that moment. So, do we not deserve to be forgiven if “in that moment,” we were actually doing our best!
We all deserve compassion and forgiveness and for many, giving it to themselves is the hardest. Every moment is a new reality and a “fresh start”. Let’s begin anew!