I I have had comments from some people close to me that I would be more effective if I trusted myself more. I thought I WAS trusting myself!
When I sat with this feedback from friends I trusted, I saw times where I looked outside of myself for validation, for answers and for confirmation, even though I thought I was pretty good at trusting myself and my intuition.
What these friends saw in me was often a reluctance to speak out and own my knowledge and perceptions. Sometimes I would offer knowledge and information, giving all the credit to others who had inspired me rather than owning the wisdom that my studies and practice had given me. I also had opinions or suggestions that I withheld. Many years ago, I had little discernment about what I said and blurted out whatever popped into my head (often with painful consequences!) Now I have perhaps swung the pendulum a little too far in the other direction.
What I perceived as thoughtful and discerning others saw as a lack of confidence or trust in myself. I also recognized an aversion to speaking my mind and later discovering I was “wrong”. My pride/ego hates being wrong!
When I first began teaching Reiki, I was cautious about making specific statements about the benefits and results of Reiki. Now after over 16 years of experience, I speak quite authoritatively about the benefits of Reiki. I see this confidence in my statements as a benefit and support to my students. I think it’s time to take this confidence to other areas of my life as well.
I’m ready to offer another level of leadership. This type of leadership that I am speaking of is not a controlling or dominant type of leadership but rather owning what I know and being willing to share it without hesitation. I’m also recognizing that growth, at the beginning, is sometimes uncomfortable. And I have been feeling this discomfort. As I write this, it is feeling less like discomfort and more like excitement.
In the workshops and groups I have offered on Accessing your Intuition, trusting oneself is a critical piece. Self-doubt, second guessing and being self-critical are all great obstacles to using our intuition. I have had enough positive experiences with my intuitive gifts that I rarely doubt what comes through me intuitively. I can see, however, that as I embrace a new level of confidence – “Self Trust” in my knowledge I will have much more to offer my students and clients, my Reiki community, and my friends.
How can I do this effectively?
Ironically, if I want to be able to ‘speak out’ confidently and with self-trust, I need to listenwell.
– I have learned that the best way to listen is for me to be fully present. To ‘take in’ what others are saying with all my senses, to not be reacting, or thinking about what I want to say in reply.
Another important thing is that I need to be willing to ask questions.
– Instead of making assumptions, I need to be sure I understand what is being said..
– I need to let go of my fear of looking foolish if I ask a ‘dumb’ question.
– I also need to let go of the expectation that I am supposed to have all the answers! I can be knowledgeable, confident and have a lot to contribute without all the ‘answers’.
– And, sometimes, a good question is much more helpful than trying to have answers!
And a final thing I can do is to be willing to make a mistake.
– It takes courage to ‘make a stand’, ‘take a position’, or simply to have an opinion.
– When I am paying more attention to what I think of myself (and for myself) instead of being concerned about what others think of me, I am free to Trust Myself.
It is feeling a little “edgy” to put this in writing and to share with all of you, but I am ready to “walk my talk” and demonstrate a new level of confidence in myself. It is my hope that my willingness to do so will awaken and inspire a new level of self-trust in all of you. At this moment, I am experiencing an interesting mix of feeling vulnerable and confident at the same time…
I would love to hear how these thoughts have affected you. I welcome your e-mails.